Click here to download as a pdf.

Over 2,000 years ago, people were looking for a change. They wanted their lives to look different. They wanted freedom, they wanted a shift. Many thought that would come through a political takeover. Some thought it would come through personal gain. But in the last days leading up to and following Jesus’ death, there was a significant shift that happened. A shift that forever changed the way you and I connect to God. A shift that redefined who we are. A shift that brought freedom and change—even if it looked completely different than what we expected.  

Session One: The Triumphal Entry (March 28)

Have you ever noticed how sometimes things don’t turn out the way you expect them to? Okay, for some of us, that happens a lot. Sometimes our expectations are really big—we think one person, one event, one word will change everything in our lives. And while that may make things different for a while, it never seems to last, does it? And when it doesn’t end up lasting, it’s easy to be really disappointed in that person, that event, those words. But what if the problem isn’t with any of those things? Consider this—what if God, who sees and knows everything, has a bigger picture than you or I can see? And the things that we think will either fulfill or advance our lives aren’t even close to what we need in order to become who we were intended to be. If so, maybe it’s time for a shift in what you and I are expecting from life—and from God.

Session One Parent Cue: Have you ever experienced a time when your expectations weren’t met, but later you saw that what you were focused on really wasn’t that big of a deal? What caused you to come to that realization?

Session Two: The Last Supper (April 4)

How do you celebrate Easter? Do you get a new outfit? Do you wake up on Easter morning to a basket full of marshmallow chicks and chocolate bunnies? (Don’t laugh–you know you still want the basket of goodies.) There are certain events in our lives that happen every year, things that come along without fail, like clockwork—holidays, family gatherings, special ceremonies. And after a while, we just go through the motions when they come along. We do what we normally do, and don’t think about the significance of the event or the original intent of the celebration. In the back of our minds, we know it’s important, but we don’t feel connected to it. In what is referred to as “The Last Supper,” Jesus celebrated the Passover tradition with His disciples. But in the course of the evening, a huge shift happened. What was once a ritual, with some historical meaning, began to become more personal. It was no longer about an event, it was about the relationship between God and us.

Session Two Parent Cue: Who are some of the people you enjoying being around? What makes those times different?

Session Three: The Empty Tomb (April 11)

People who die don’t get up. The grave is usually the end of someone’s story. That’s what people thought about Jesus—that His story was over. He died a brutal death and was placed in a tomb. Those close to Him were in shock, others were glad that He was gone. But things were about to shift. The tomb would not keep Jesus, and because of that the grave is no longer the end of our stories. The place of death became a place of life—not only for Jesus, but for each one of us as well. And what once seemed hopeless now shifts to become hopeful.

Session Three Parent Cue: Have you ever thought something was over, only to find out that there was still “life” to the situation or dream?  

Click here to download as a pdf

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

We’ve all used words while being a little uncertain of the actual meaning. But when it comes to words like “belief,” “righteousness” and “salvation,” our understanding makes a huge difference in how we live our Christian faith and how we view God. So, we’re going to take a look at these commonly used words and figure out not only what they mean today but what they meant to the writers of the Bible thousands of years ago. And, in doing so, our aim is to let these new definitions teach us more about all God has for us and wants for us. In other words, over three weeks we are going to take what may have been lost in translation and recapture and rethink it in a way that could transform us in ways we never imagined.

2. Be a Student of Your Student

In the summer of 2008, Notre Dame sociologist Christian Smith conducted a study which interviewed 230 young adults from across America. Columnist David Brooks summarized those findings in a recent article in the New York Times (“If It Feels Right …” September 12^th, 2011). Smith’s findings revealed that young people don’t have the vocabulary to talk about issues of morality. In other words, when it comes to talking about morality and the meaning of life, young people generally find themselves at a loss for words to describe what they know and how they feel. As Brooks writes in his article, “The interviewers asked open-ended questions about right and wrong, moral dilemmas and the meaning of life. In the rambling answers, which Smith and company recount in a new book, ‘Lost in Transition,’ you see the young people groping to say anything sensible on these matters. But they just don’t have the categories or vocabulary to do so … It’s not so much that these young Americans are living lives of sin and debauchery, at least no more than you’d expect from 18- to 23-year-olds. What’s disheartening is how bad they are at thinking and talking about moral issues.”

For those of us who are invested in the lives of young people, this information can be a bit unsettling. But, we can also see it as a challenge to help our students by teaching them what the Bible says about who they are and what their lives are purposed for—by giving them the vocabulary to talk about these issues with clarity and thoughtfulness. As Brooks says, “Again, this doesn’t mean that America’s young people are immoral. Far from it. But, Smith and company emphasize, they have not been given the resources—by schools, institutions and families—to cultivate their moral intuitions, to think more broadly about moral obligations, to check behaviors that may be degrading. In this way, the study says more about adult America than youthful America.” And this is where we as parents pick up the challenge to help our students develop a vocabulary for the story of their faith journey.

While many students may not be able at this point to truly deal with the abstract ideas of “belief,” “righteousness” and “salvation,” there will come a time when they will be able to wrestle with these concepts and really understand their meaning in a way that will impact their understanding of the Christian faith and their lives. So, as you talk to your teen about what they are learning, keep in mind that we are sowing the seeds of a greater understanding of both their faith and who they are created to be. 

3. Action Point

Stories are one of the greatest teaching tools we have to reach our students. One of the most powerful ways for us, as parents, to teach our students the power of faith is for us to share our own faith story with them. For some of us, our faith story is filled with lots of drama. For some, our story is one we haven’t really spent that much time considering before. For others, our faith story began when we were very young and has been a consistent narrative throughout our lives. Whatever your story, it is important that you share it with your student. Let them peek into your own journey and find some common ground. This may not come naturally or easily, but as you stumble through it together, keep in mind that your vulnerability is one of the most effective tools in furthering your child’s personal spiritual journey. Here are some tips to get you started:

• Be sure to do this on your student’s timetable so that they are the most willing to listen and take in what your story has to offer.
• Pick your teen up from school for lunch or coffee and make a special date out of telling your story. Your student will enjoy the special attention and the break from their normal routine.
• Find a time when both you and your spouse can share your story in a relaxed environment, such as around the dinner table.
• Above all, remember that no one has more potential to influence your child’s relationship with God than you do. Being intentional with your student and making time to talk is a valuable resource in building relational trust and walking with your student through their faith journey.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Click here to download the February Parent Cue as a pdf.

I appreciate our families at GCC and am in prayer for you all!

ChoosingtoCheat

THE BATTLE WITHIN

Each one of us faces a battle within, a battle that may go unseen by those around, but inside there is major brawl. It’s a battle with temptation. And depending on the temptation and its hold on your life, it may be a battle that seems impossible to win. In this series, Andy Stanley takes a look at the temptations Jesus faced in the desert, and identifies the driving forces behind the temptations we all face every day. Because once you realize what the pull is behind the temptation, you can find the confidence to follow Jesus’ example and respond as He did.

Week One: The Main Event January 25

Bottom Line: In every single temptation you face, there is always more at risk than you think.

In the sport of boxing, the main event is the big fight, the moment where everything is on the line. But for most of us, we are oblivious to the truth that in every temptation we face, there’s a lot at stake as well. When face to face with temptation, the choice feels insignificant sometimes. There are times when it feels like no one will notice, or it’s not really a big deal. But in looking at the temptations Jesus faced, we realize just how much is at stake—not only in His life, with the temptations that were before Him—but in our lives as well, with the ones we face every day.

Week Two: In This Corner February 1

Bottom Line: Every time you’re tempted, your confidence in God is at stake, not just your self-control.

When facing temptation, it seems like it’s always about the choice, the decision, the temptation. But it’s always about more than that. It’s not just your reputation or your innocence that’s at stake—it’s your confidence in God. The lure of temptation makes us question whether we can really trust God to come through for us, to be there for us, to provide for us. We begin to think He’s not in our corner, that He’s not looking out for us. But what if we began to see Him there? What if we realized that whatever is luring us away really has nothing to do with what we think it’s about, and there’s a deeper issue, a trust issue, at work? It might completely weaken the pull of that temptation, and it might help us get to the heart of what is really going on.

Week Three: Fixing the Fight February 8

Bottom Line: We are tempted to believe we know how God works and how we think we can work Him.

In the boxing world, sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes the winner is known before anyone walks into the ring. Sometimes the outcome is pre-determined by a person who has manipulated things behind the scene. Sometimes a fighter takes a dive. Sometimes a boxer throws the fight. And if each one of us were completely honest, sometimes we try to work things as well in our fight with temptation. And who or what we are manipulating isn’t the temptation, it’s God.

Week Four: Hook and Jab February 15

Bottom Line: We are tempted to pursue the right thing the wrong way.

Temptation doesn’t always have to be about doing something bad. In fact, sometimes it’s not the end result that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but how we plan to get there. It’s the shortcut, the path, the compromise. And in this fight, this struggle with temptation, sometimes the punches we throw and the ones thrown at us are simply about pursuing the right things but in the wrong way.

FAMILY EXPERIENCE

Over the next four weeks, our group is looking at the temptations each of us face, and digging down deeper to figure out the real issues. For teens, those temptations may look differently from the ones you face. In fact, one of the biggest temptations you may have is a tension that you may live with every day. It’s the tension between work and home. Whether you are in the workplace or working at home, there’s a struggle between the time you spend on the things you have to do versus the time you have to spend with your child. It’s that constant tug of war between what you have to do to get ahead in the workplace versus what it takes to really invest in your family.

Since there are only 24 hours in a day, something has to give. Someone has to lose out. Taking time for one thing takes time away from something else. And the only way to invest more time in one thing is to cheat the other thing. So whom are you going to cheat? Are you going to cheat your workplace or that show-ready home? Or are you going to cheat your family?

There will always be a project. There will always be an e-mail in your inbox. There will always be a phone call to return. But the time you have right now with your spouse, with your child, is limited. And when you think of the big picture, you’re the only one who can be a dad to your kids. You’re the only one who can be a mom to your kids. You’re the only who can be a husband to your wife, or a wife to your husband.

By Sarah Anderson

Spiritual leader—two words people use a lot at church, and ones that they often direct right at you as a parent. Those words can be pretty intimidating. Leading our kids spiritually is one of those things we know we should do, maybe even want to do, but we’re just not sure how.

But when it comes to the influence you have on your kids spiritually, it is something we rarely learn how to do until we simply make the decision to do it. We can read books. We can listen to guidance. We can observe the pros. But we can’t really make any strides until we simply take the plunge and make the first move.

For a lot of us, there is nothing more scary than endeavoring to navigate our own spirituality, let alone talk with our kids about their spirituality. But we can’t be non-participants in this. We can’t watch from the sidelines and allow the youth pastor, the small group leader or the church as a whole take over a role designed and purposed for you as parents—as tempting, appealing and easy as that might be.

Your kids need you—more than they need a coolly dressed youth pastor. Your kids need you—more than they need a culturally relevant small group leader. Your kids need you—more than they need a spiritually impressive church. All of those can play an important role, but they don’t lessen your role. Your kids need you, because your kids are watching you, observing you, taking note of you and the value you place on what is going on with them spiritually. So fading into the background isn’t really an option.

So how do you even begin to engage your kids when it comes to their spiritual well being? For one, you start by asking questions. I remember hearing years ago that people can easily determine what I value and what matters to me by the questions I ask them. When I first got married, my dad would ask me if my new husband and I were “doing okay financially.” He asked this one question often enough that I knew, to him, it mattered that we were managing our money wisely. In the same way, the questions we ask our kids reveal what means the most to us. Are we only concerned with their grades, their whereabouts and their messy rooms? Or do we take the time to ask about their time at church? What did they most enjoy about their time there? Was there something that stuck out that they heard or talked about? Was there anything that challenged them or confused them? Begin a conversation, a dialogue, an ongoing connection that happens because you made the effort to care about what is happening at church.

Make yourself available. Don’t allow yourself to become invisible in your own teenager’s life. Kids notice your willingness to simply be there —whether they acknowledge it now or years later. Your presence alone is communicating a valuable message: “I care about you. You matter to me. So, I am going to make sure you have my attention. You have my time. You have me.” This could mean you make the effort to drop off or pick up your student from the student program or it could mean you are simply tuned into what is happening in the student ministry. Doing this communicates to both the youth pastor and to your student that what they are doing has validity, is important and matters enough to you for you to know what is going on.

Sometimes, leading your child spiritually takes time. Sometimes it is more comfortable to stay uninvolved in something that doesn’t come so easily and feels so odd. But even though it’s easier, if you don’t make the effort, you’ll miss out on some incredible experiences. With most things, when you give it time, things start to improve. The outlook isn’t so bad. It doesn’t feel so foreign. In fact, it may actually start to feel right.

No, it doesn’t happen overnight. And no, it doesn’t mean that it’s always going to go well. There will be some awkward silences. There will be times when you’ll wish you would have said something differently. But continued effort, renewed care and concern can go a long way. And the glimpses of payoff—though maybe brief—are enough to look past the awkward foibles that come with the learning process to see the potential.

When it comes to the spiritual lives of your kids, there is potential. So much potential. Nurture it in them, not by becoming a super parent, but by becoming their parent—a parent who cares too much to fade into the background and let someone else steer the reigns of their spiritual lives.

How many of you, before you became parents, had a picture in your minds of what your family would look like?  What kind of parent you would be, how your children would behave, what hobbies and activities you would pursue, what your kitchen pantry would contain…  Now that you are parents, how many of you live a life that looks anything remotely close to that picture you had years ago?

Life doesn’t always turn out like we hoped it would.  It gets messy.  Kids misbehave, spouses disappoint us, careers don’t go the way we thought they would, our parenting strategies don’t work, and we wind up serving our kids chocolate chip pancakes for dinner on Tuesday night instead of a healthy balanced meal including several different colored vegetables (yes, that’s what I fed my family last night for dinner!)

And somewhere, we get it in our minds that because we don’t have it all together, because we are not the perfect parents, God can’t or won’t use us.  It places this tremendous pressure on us as parents to become (or pretend to become) something that we can never achieve.  But if you look through the Bible you will find story after story where God uses people in their brokenness to tell His story.  And God wants to use us, all of us, even in our imperfections to tell His story.  He doesn’t expect us to be perfect parents, perfect husbands and wives, perfect employees, perfect Christians.  He just wants us to be willing to be used by Him.  To let Him tell His story through our weaknesses.  Imagine what our children could learn if we quit trying to be perfect parents.  If we admitted to them when we are overwhelmed, confused, angry, wrong.  How much more would they be able to learn about God’s faithfulness, love and mercy if we would admit to our shortcomings.  Maybe our shortcomings are there so that God can be glorified in our lives and our children can watch firsthand what forgiveness truly looks like, and how grace and mercy can become part of our daily lives.

“Rather than painting a picture of a perfect family, God wants to use family as a canvas for His redemptive story.  He wants to use the family to show us what it means to have an authentic, everyday faith with a God who redeems and restores broken people.” (Parenting Beyond Your Capacity)